Sensory differences and being an outlier

Around puberty, I realized that I had a rage problem that resulted in me losing my ever-loving mind at certain noises. I tried to explain to myself that it must have been linked to some weird gum-related trauma I must have experienced and it was my PTSD having self's hypervigilance that made it a problem. Trouble is, that didn't make it stop or lessen the stress of it, and even the most wholesome and safe feeling time part of my week, when Stepmom2 would make homemade breakfast for the family on Sunday mornings became torture because it was accompanied by the sound of everyone CHEWING. If the word CHEWING in all caps is a bit of a trigger for you, you may know where I am going with this one.

Misophonia or how I found out I am not just a rage monster.

As I became older and more and more people were telling their own stories through social media, I discovered I wasn't the only rage monster that became wanted to scream, cry, or attack when chewing sounds, ticking, clocks, and KitKat commercials came on (I hate you KitKat commercials). Turns out there are lots of us and the audiological/neurological difference we have has been called Misophonia, also called 4s (Selective Sound Sensitivity Syndrome. The video below explains some of the science. I will tell my fellow misophonics that they start to play the trigger sounds at 3:11 point. The first couple are okay but then the miso triggers start and I urge you not to listen to them. Unlike with anxiety disorders, I have not found that exposure to trigger sounds paired with skills use has been effective enough to do away with the reactions sufficiently enough to insist you not avoid your miso triggers.

I just attempted to find you a video that accurately shows what I and other misophonics experience when hearing their trigger sounds and all of them contained said trigger sounds and now I have to go run a marathon to expend the fight or flight energy in my body or I will cry in the corner of my office before my next session, either is possible. See what happens to folks with misophonia is these trigger noises aren't just annoying; it feels very much like the noises are being made AT ME and with malicious INTENT, essentially, my body responds with a fight or flight response. It can be so instantaneous that self-control feels impossible, like the few times I may have loudly cussed out the television or thrown the remote because, for some reason, sound people think that we NEED to hear the sound of liquid being poured into a glass on this show I love even though it tortures me. I have learned over the years that I have a relatively mild reaction compared to some people. I do think that over the years my DBT skills have helped greatly to reduce the level of my reaction to my triggers and I have had to withdraw from classes based on the incompatibility between myself and the voice of a professor or the amount of saliva they carry in the corners of their mouths at any given moment.

Ways to cope with Misophonia:

• I have tried Calmer and although I think they may be helpful I genuinely hate having things in my ears to the point that I haven't been able to adjust properly to them. I plan to give them another try and hopefully you will too if this is an issue for you.

• DBT TIPP Skills- Temperature, Intense Exercise, Paced Breathing, and Progressive muscle relaxation.- This is a set of Distress Tolerance skills in DBT used to reduce the intensity of emotions when they are at crisis levels, using your body's physiology to calm down until the ability to think comes back online.

• Awareness- I tell everyone I meet about misophonia eventually. sometimes sooner rather than later. This OFTEN leads to people making exaggerated trigger noises at me because they don't understand the actual suffering it causes me. Though I've also helped people to recognize their misophonia, which is the most beautiful thing, as I love helping them realize they aren't rage monsters either.  The thing about misophonia though, is that it is OUR THING, not THEIR fault, right? They (trigger noise makers) are not to blame for our reaction and we aren't making it up either. So another DBT Concept to rescue: we didn't cause our problem and it is our job to fix it anyway. Okay, that doesn't feel very rescue-y AND it can help with the whole "I want to attach that bastard with the gum" feelings of rage. We can practice becoming aware of our triggers and using skills before we are too far into distress.

• By awareness I mean: TELL FOLKS IN YOUR LIFE. If that means you have to say "Hey, sorry, I have this neurological disorder that causes a fight or flight response to small sounds most people don't hear, this means I need to go to the other room for a moment". Or you can send them to this post!

If you love someone with misophonia?

Okay, you cannot prevent from making all trigger noises. it just isn't a thing you can do. You can be mindful of it though, trying to keep those noises you can to a minimum by not chewing gum or eating with misophonia friends or eating when on the phone (we can ALWAYS tell).

Remember how I started this post with the fact that I am a chronic outlier and a youtube video about auditory processing disorder? Funnily enough, I wasn't planning to write about bout misophonia when I started this post! However, we have reached the end of reasonable blog entry posts and so you will have to stay tuned for further adventures in my brain and sounds!

Keep changing, keep growing, no matter what, just keep going!

Maggie Lipham, LCSW